I wish to recommend to you a very talented individual who would be a great asset to you. You have never tried to hire him, because he has no work experience or practical knowledge whatsoever in the field he claims to be an expert in.
Nonetheless, the person at hand would be a valuable addition to any sanitation department, a bureaucracy that favors quantity over quality, or your "HTML programming" department, as well as to your relationship with developers (assuming you treat them like the Spanish Inquisition treated non-believers). In turn, it would also unburden the Open Source community from the need to explain to him that it does not really stand for personal attacks, insults, half-truths, fabrications, hypocrisy, industrialized spam, or mockery of people who have actually made tangible contributions to the advancement of software freedom.
So please, if you have vacancies left at the moment, especially in the Waste Management area, I urge you to hire a man called Roy "BoycottBoy" Schestowitz. You will regret this, but we don't really give a shit anymore.
All of us.
PS — this is not satire or a cheap shot; it's serious and it's possible. §